The never ending twisted simplicity of my life is unbearable. I have almost succeeded in living all my worst fears, but i would very much want to discard this current affliction staring me in the face. I have pretty much given up on fairytales, but the moral still lingers; love. I don’t care if i’m crazy, but i still believe in that i still want that.
If someone saw my life, i would be considered unthankful, however, if someone would just live my life, they would give up, i geuss. it seems as though i have everything, i just need to get married, then everything would be perfect, they say. And yes i have everything; pain, heartache, unsureness, unhappiness, discontentment, unforgiveness, the list goes on..
I’m a realist, and i know you cannot start a life with a mess. I’m not prone to giving up, hence my current lifestyle, but there has to be a point where you should end bullshit right? although i’m confused about my life’s decisions, my head is pretty clear on what i want. Yes I moronically discarded fairytales, but i’m in need of rescuing and i need a hero. I have tried to be my own hero for so long, i think it’s time i face my face, it can’t happen.
One thing i know, i cannot, under any circumstance whatsoever, live a basic life, i can’t face oblivion just yet. At one point my life is supposed to start, all i do is wait…in this continual holocene.