Ah, yes! the great and awfull facade.
yeah i addmit i do it, my whole life is a facade and i am coincidentally at that point where i cannot afford it’s maintainance anymore. I promised myself that my life should ne under any circumstance become this, not even remotely, but the life i always dream of and lectured everyone about is now remote. But there is always hope…if i can find my relic, who has seamingly dissapeared into thin air. I am constanly analyzing things in life and life itself that it has caused emotional paralysis.
I never thought i would smile on cue and not be true to my feelings and myself, because i have always known who i was and never have i asked myself, who i wanted to be. It sounds pretty dramatic, but i have found that it is rather important, we go through numerous phases in our life and knowing what type of person you want to be, always want to be is critical, cause knowing who you want to be helps you through life as you stumble and scrape through it, sometimes we barely make it, but we make it though.
Ihave been called pretentious many times, and that could be the reason why no one reads my blog, but what no one knew was that I was in another world, an amazing reality where you can go back to the past and the future at the same time, where you can be wherever you want whenever you want….Imagination! few people cherish it and take it seriuosly, i take it seriuosly, and thats why no one can quite understand me. I know i don’t owe anyone ,but anyway i’m not enjoying this facade. I have always wanted to be happy, no matter what, that is why i accept everyone for who they are, no one is perfect and i don’t expect my life to be, but doesn’t everyone deserve happiness?
No one knows how i feels, one cares, i know because i have tried and no one is interested in a rant, i understand, but what if they are the reason, the cause? When i laugh, i don’t feel the joy of laughter, i can’t pretend, i can’t pretend.