it has been six days since i had a smoke. i feel as if i am in asleep state, it doesn’t feel real. i am a strong willed person and very stubborn, seriuosly, i’m very stubborn. Still i’m waiting for that moment when i relapse, i mean i am bound to relapse right? it’s sigarettes! it’s weird not smoking, but to be honest it was also weird when i did smoke. it didn’t suit me, it dragged me down and it made me sick. i have not accepted it yet, but i think i might be free from smoking. of course i miss it, oh how i miss it right now! But i feel fine, i smoked more than i did anything else and now i just don’t, just like that.
i’m scared to accept it,to acknowledge the fact that i don’t smoke anymore, because i don’t wanna jinx it. i tell myself that i will smoke, just not right now and i end up not doing it at all. i’ll tell you more about my journey tommorrow.for now i have to hold my breath..and eventually breath out, yes, i have to do breathing exercises. it’s the only way.